It's been 6 days since I last weighed my self and I have dropped 4lbs. I'm quite chuffed with this, if I keep going at this rate in another 4 weeks I will be at 11 stone., which I think is an ideal weight for me. I've improved my diet eating loads of fruit, salad and cereal bars. I don't think the cereal bars are that good for me but a banana and a bar for breakfast have to better than my usual roll and sausage & tattie scone or roll and black pudding. Permanent hunger seems to be my new state of being but I can't go on bursting trousers and I'm nearly 30 so years of kebab and chippy abuse have caught up with me.
On another note. I booked flights to London at the beginning of last month and on Saturday I managed to book my Frightfest weekend pass. I'm super pumped about this as I've been to the Glasgow FrightFest for the last two years and it was brilliant both times. The Glasgow on is only two days and has 8 films, where as the London Frightfest is four days long and is showing 38 films across two screens. Now obviously I don't expect to see all 38 films as some will be on at the same time and some will be on rather late to about 1 or 2 in the morning. The main screen has 27 films across four days that is a punishing schedule so I may give some a miss. However the chance to see some weird and wonderful films with a like minded audience is always intriguing.
Sunday, 3 July 2011
Tuesday, 28 June 2011
We Can Rebuild You part 2
Okay this is my first blog in a year and a half and after reading my last blog entry it will be near identical. Last week I burst two pairs of trousers, like a slow motion Hulk only fuelled by fat not anger. After my second trouser explosion I found a pair of trousers that fitted me fine and wore them proudly, only to discover 7 hours later, they were ripped along the arse from a previous hulk out. Nobody even noticed, I must be losing my sex appeal, this realisation , hurt more than the fact I was unaware that I pioneering pin stripe chaps.
Recently I have weighed myself on two separate scales. My Dad's set say I am 12 stone 4, the swimming pools set say I am 12 stone 5. The latter set also measured my height and stated I was taller than I thought , so for now I'll believe that I'm 12 stone 5lbs. I plan to be 11 stone soon. This means I have to shed 19lbs, its going to be rough. Thankfully my mate Stephen has agreed to do the same diet and exercise regime as I; no beer, no bread, no take away's , while swimming twice a week.
We started this 0n Sunday and it is now Tuesday this seems quite easy, however I feel like I have been eating loads more than I normally would. Well I have been eating more often, typically I would have three fat filled meals a day, but now and especially today I have been constantly grazing.
My intake for today includes:
1 litre of strawberry and banana smoothie
2 bananas
2 necatrines
x amount of grapes and raspberries (which were hairy for some reason)
1 satsuma
1 salami salad
1 chicken tikka salad
a fuckton (metric) of coffee
1 and soon to be 2 glasses of red wine.
I'm also on a budget at the moment but eating healthily is actually expensive I'll just need to get my shit together and prioritise things or at the very least do an organised shop. I intend to use this blog to chart my progress so lets see how things progress. I go on holiday in just under two months and therefore I need all the cash I can get, therefore I need to lose weight to save my current wardrobe as I can't afford a new one.
Recently I have weighed myself on two separate scales. My Dad's set say I am 12 stone 4, the swimming pools set say I am 12 stone 5. The latter set also measured my height and stated I was taller than I thought , so for now I'll believe that I'm 12 stone 5lbs. I plan to be 11 stone soon. This means I have to shed 19lbs, its going to be rough. Thankfully my mate Stephen has agreed to do the same diet and exercise regime as I; no beer, no bread, no take away's , while swimming twice a week.
We started this 0n Sunday and it is now Tuesday this seems quite easy, however I feel like I have been eating loads more than I normally would. Well I have been eating more often, typically I would have three fat filled meals a day, but now and especially today I have been constantly grazing.
My intake for today includes:
1 litre of strawberry and banana smoothie
2 bananas
2 necatrines
x amount of grapes and raspberries (which were hairy for some reason)
1 satsuma
1 salami salad
1 chicken tikka salad
a fuckton (metric) of coffee
1 and soon to be 2 glasses of red wine.
I'm also on a budget at the moment but eating healthily is actually expensive I'll just need to get my shit together and prioritise things or at the very least do an organised shop. I intend to use this blog to chart my progress so lets see how things progress. I go on holiday in just under two months and therefore I need all the cash I can get, therefore I need to lose weight to save my current wardrobe as I can't afford a new one.
Tuesday, 17 November 2009
We Can Rebuild You
The past two weekends I've had it ripped out me for being fat. I know, I'm fat I've known it for a while as out of roughly a dozen pair of trousers that I own only 5 pairs fit me. I've had the feeling for a while that I should do something about it but having the pish ripped out me by my nearest and dearest has really brought it home.
I'm 5'7 and weigh 12 stone 9lbs, really I should weigh 11 stone actually that is rather generous I really should be 10 stone 7 but losing over two stone is an almighty goal and I would be happy at 11. Last week was when I'd try eating healthily and it worked for 5 days until Friday hit then I had my first Gregg's and only Gregg's of the week. Going from 11 visits to 1 is rather impressive however I fell further from the wagon when I got an indian at night, still its the weekend I need to cut loose every now and then but Saturday was a total write off with a fried breakfast and a chippy. After further jibes about being fat I decided that eating better would not be sufficient especially since I just pigged out for two days straight.
Badly hungover on Sunday I needed a plan so I decide to try to eat better and exercise. This would be the toughest of all but something has to happen. I have a long think about it and come to the conclusion that swimming twice a week is the thing for me. On Monday I handily locate a pool that is more or less 20 minutes from both work and home it is council run and therefore cheap with no ongoing fees. As far as I am concerned this is perfection. Swimming combined with wholemeal toast breakfast, soup lunches and healthy dinners is the ticket to a slimmer and fitter me.
This morning I wake and decide today after work I shall swim so I pack some shorts and a towel into a bag then once I finish work I locate the pool pay £2.20 for the privilege of using the facilities get changed. Feeling all proud for actaully taking steps to reduce my fatness I jump into the pool. It is at this point I discover the fatal flaw in my master plan, I can not swim.
Well I can swim kind of. I can do the front crawl, the breast stroke and some bastardised version of the back stroke I picked up from somewhere, its just that I can not swim very far. I've never been a strong swimmer but in my youth I was competent enough in a pool. Today I jumped in the shallow end did a length (25 metres) turned round and started to do another I complete approximatley 3/4 of a length then I start to sink. I can not breathe underwater so I stand up and discover that I cant really breathe above the water either I sit down at the shallow end and try to recover my breathe. At this point I notice a young lady who is possibly checking me out, as she keeps giving me sideway glances either that or she was admiring my fledgling chebs. I suppose I'll never know as I could not speak to her, not because I was shy but because I could not talk as I was so out of breath. I suppose another option is she was wondering why a young man was breathing so heavily in the shallow end of a pool which had swimsuit clad children near by.
Anyway by the time I recover she was gone but I decide to swimming 37.5 metres wont cut it so I try again and successfully complete and 1 and 3/4 lengths before sinking again. All in all I manage about 7 lengths or 175 metres before I pack it in. Losing this much weight will be a long process. I walk two miles a day every day. When I was a kid Gavin Hastings was always on tv telling us walking was pure brilliant apparently he was wrong. Legend be may be but he is still a cunt for lying to me.
Apparently chosing a pool equidistant from work and home was not such a great idea either because I was in chuffing agony on the walk home still I managed it. Eating a healthy dinner today was also a challenge because I have no healthy food the best I can whip up is a grilled square sausage and cheese toasty with a red chilli and brown sauce. Healthy no, tasty yes, it looks like baby steps will be required here.
Instead of cutting up the chilli like a sensible person I just tear it up with my hands then quickly wash them before dining on my feast. Sometime after dinner I scratch around my man bits, then slowly I feel a mild burning sensation which slowsly grows steadier in intestity. I tursn out my hand washing excercise was not to thourough and now my balls burn brightly thanks to my red chilli. It hurts deeply and I've typed this blog to help take my mind off things.
I've recovered form last nights chilli burns today is slightly worse. Today it burns all over at first just my arms but gradually my legs became more painful with each step towards work. As I type this my thighs creak in pain but hey no pain no gain. I went through a smoothie phase earlier this year and today in need of fruity sustenance I buy a smoothie from a juice bar. I buy the smallest size available and its £2.95 for what is essentially banana's and strawberries with milk. Actually it contains frozen yoghurt but that is just cold off milk. I could have made litres of the stuff for £2.95, if I actually had banana's or strawberries or fruit of any kind in my fridge but I don't. All I have has chillies asparagus garlic and sweet potato and its too early for that, it will be eternal;ly to early for that kind of smoothy.
I'm 5'7 and weigh 12 stone 9lbs, really I should weigh 11 stone actually that is rather generous I really should be 10 stone 7 but losing over two stone is an almighty goal and I would be happy at 11. Last week was when I'd try eating healthily and it worked for 5 days until Friday hit then I had my first Gregg's and only Gregg's of the week. Going from 11 visits to 1 is rather impressive however I fell further from the wagon when I got an indian at night, still its the weekend I need to cut loose every now and then but Saturday was a total write off with a fried breakfast and a chippy. After further jibes about being fat I decided that eating better would not be sufficient especially since I just pigged out for two days straight.
Badly hungover on Sunday I needed a plan so I decide to try to eat better and exercise. This would be the toughest of all but something has to happen. I have a long think about it and come to the conclusion that swimming twice a week is the thing for me. On Monday I handily locate a pool that is more or less 20 minutes from both work and home it is council run and therefore cheap with no ongoing fees. As far as I am concerned this is perfection. Swimming combined with wholemeal toast breakfast, soup lunches and healthy dinners is the ticket to a slimmer and fitter me.
This morning I wake and decide today after work I shall swim so I pack some shorts and a towel into a bag then once I finish work I locate the pool pay £2.20 for the privilege of using the facilities get changed. Feeling all proud for actaully taking steps to reduce my fatness I jump into the pool. It is at this point I discover the fatal flaw in my master plan, I can not swim.
Well I can swim kind of. I can do the front crawl, the breast stroke and some bastardised version of the back stroke I picked up from somewhere, its just that I can not swim very far. I've never been a strong swimmer but in my youth I was competent enough in a pool. Today I jumped in the shallow end did a length (25 metres) turned round and started to do another I complete approximatley 3/4 of a length then I start to sink. I can not breathe underwater so I stand up and discover that I cant really breathe above the water either I sit down at the shallow end and try to recover my breathe. At this point I notice a young lady who is possibly checking me out, as she keeps giving me sideway glances either that or she was admiring my fledgling chebs. I suppose I'll never know as I could not speak to her, not because I was shy but because I could not talk as I was so out of breath. I suppose another option is she was wondering why a young man was breathing so heavily in the shallow end of a pool which had swimsuit clad children near by.
Anyway by the time I recover she was gone but I decide to swimming 37.5 metres wont cut it so I try again and successfully complete and 1 and 3/4 lengths before sinking again. All in all I manage about 7 lengths or 175 metres before I pack it in. Losing this much weight will be a long process. I walk two miles a day every day. When I was a kid Gavin Hastings was always on tv telling us walking was pure brilliant apparently he was wrong. Legend be may be but he is still a cunt for lying to me.
Apparently chosing a pool equidistant from work and home was not such a great idea either because I was in chuffing agony on the walk home still I managed it. Eating a healthy dinner today was also a challenge because I have no healthy food the best I can whip up is a grilled square sausage and cheese toasty with a red chilli and brown sauce. Healthy no, tasty yes, it looks like baby steps will be required here.
Instead of cutting up the chilli like a sensible person I just tear it up with my hands then quickly wash them before dining on my feast. Sometime after dinner I scratch around my man bits, then slowly I feel a mild burning sensation which slowsly grows steadier in intestity. I tursn out my hand washing excercise was not to thourough and now my balls burn brightly thanks to my red chilli. It hurts deeply and I've typed this blog to help take my mind off things.
I've recovered form last nights chilli burns today is slightly worse. Today it burns all over at first just my arms but gradually my legs became more painful with each step towards work. As I type this my thighs creak in pain but hey no pain no gain. I went through a smoothie phase earlier this year and today in need of fruity sustenance I buy a smoothie from a juice bar. I buy the smallest size available and its £2.95 for what is essentially banana's and strawberries with milk. Actually it contains frozen yoghurt but that is just cold off milk. I could have made litres of the stuff for £2.95, if I actually had banana's or strawberries or fruit of any kind in my fridge but I don't. All I have has chillies asparagus garlic and sweet potato and its too early for that, it will be eternal;ly to early for that kind of smoothy.
Wednesday, 4 November 2009
2 Weddings and a Hangover
This weekend was rather hectic. Friday I stayed in and watched The Rocky Horror Picture Show, which was different. It has really catchy tunes however which plagued my mind for a few days still I'm glad I watched it.
Saturday was Halloween so naturally I had two weddings to attend. Attending two weddings would be difficult for mere mortals but I took it my stride. The first started at 2 and the second at 6. SO if I skipped the reception of the first I could attend the reception of other, pure genius.
I arrive in Beith near the first weddingat 1 and ask a local how to get to the venue. Local man says go to pub and phone taxi. I arrive at said pub, lovely pub it was and it had football on, today will be a good day. The taxi takes half and hour and which then takes me to the venue. It was a lovely wedding but I did not know many people so I drank a fair bit. I got drunk actaully I left the first do of the day at 6.30pm rather intoxiacated. I asked the taxi man to drop me off at near a cash machine and bus stop. The cash machine swallows my fucking card I'm not happy about this but my bus comes so I jump on and head to Glasgow as I have another do to attend.
I phone my flat mate and kindly inform him of the situation and he loans me £30 to go to the other wedding. I quickly go home pick up some, cash knock back a whiskey and off I go to continue the party. Now I arrive at thsi wedding mid speech and quitely hang back before meeting up with some people I know and continuing to drink.
I meet a young lady who catches my eye but she is stubbornly resistant to my charms. SO i number rape her. I did not come up with that term but basically I grab her phone and called myself in a smooth manaouvre to get her number. I have been permanently cringing about that for around 3 days. The rest of the night is a blur apparently I got home about 1.30 which meant I was on a 12 hour drinking session, I do not handle those well.
Sunday was fun, I woke up spewed went back to bed for an hour got up showered changed, collapsed on my couch to watch the football while I built up the energy to make a tea. About 10 minutes pass and I think right I shall now make tea. So I pause the tv and try to get up, I cant. 30 minutes pass of me sitting in silence trying to get up for tea. I eventually manage this and it felt good.
I watched Goals on Sunday and waitied for the Rangers game to start.
Saturday was Halloween so naturally I had two weddings to attend. Attending two weddings would be difficult for mere mortals but I took it my stride. The first started at 2 and the second at 6. SO if I skipped the reception of the first I could attend the reception of other, pure genius.
I arrive in Beith near the first weddingat 1 and ask a local how to get to the venue. Local man says go to pub and phone taxi. I arrive at said pub, lovely pub it was and it had football on, today will be a good day. The taxi takes half and hour and which then takes me to the venue. It was a lovely wedding but I did not know many people so I drank a fair bit. I got drunk actaully I left the first do of the day at 6.30pm rather intoxiacated. I asked the taxi man to drop me off at near a cash machine and bus stop. The cash machine swallows my fucking card I'm not happy about this but my bus comes so I jump on and head to Glasgow as I have another do to attend.
I phone my flat mate and kindly inform him of the situation and he loans me £30 to go to the other wedding. I quickly go home pick up some, cash knock back a whiskey and off I go to continue the party. Now I arrive at thsi wedding mid speech and quitely hang back before meeting up with some people I know and continuing to drink.
I meet a young lady who catches my eye but she is stubbornly resistant to my charms. SO i number rape her. I did not come up with that term but basically I grab her phone and called myself in a smooth manaouvre to get her number. I have been permanently cringing about that for around 3 days. The rest of the night is a blur apparently I got home about 1.30 which meant I was on a 12 hour drinking session, I do not handle those well.
Sunday was fun, I woke up spewed went back to bed for an hour got up showered changed, collapsed on my couch to watch the football while I built up the energy to make a tea. About 10 minutes pass and I think right I shall now make tea. So I pause the tv and try to get up, I cant. 30 minutes pass of me sitting in silence trying to get up for tea. I eventually manage this and it felt good.
I watched Goals on Sunday and waitied for the Rangers game to start.
I'll admit watching Rangers has been a bit of a chore this season as the standard of football has been poor at best. I enjoy it when they win but overall the standard is pretty low. When I flicked over too the Rangers vs Dundee United match with some apprehension as I felt it would be a difficult game. However it was actually a very good game of football both teams played well and there were plenty of chances.
I had to pause it after 20minutes for an emergency bacon and egg sandwich but when I came back I hit play and still the remaining 25 minutes were again top quality. Half time came and Rangers were winning so all is right with the world I fast forward through half time eagerly anticipating another cracking half but no the game is abandoned. Bamtards the first SPL game I have enjoyed form a footballing perspective is abandoned leaving me to wallowing in self pity again.
Tuesday, 20 October 2009
Calm Before The Storm
Things have been rather quiet in Malkyland of late partly because of my stag do antics and partly because I have been laid up with the cold. I have not really been watching too many movies either, and the ones of I have watched have been kinda poor for the most part.
The Invention of Lying-generally unfunny and kinda insulting at points
Underworld 3- Piss Poor. I should of known I mean Underworld 1 was good and 2 was alright but even then I watched them as a students and a lot of things back then seemed better than they actually were, for various reasons. However one thing what will always remain constant and brilliant about the first two films is Kate Beckinsdale in a pvc catsuit.
Point Proven
However Underworld 3 lacks Kate Beckinsdale and instead replaces her with Rhona Mitra the go to girl when Kate says no(or in this case cant do the film). She is pretty no doubt but she cant act at all as anyone who has seen Doomsday can attest. This film was a waste of time and a giant waste of Martin Sheen's acting prowess he must have signed a 3 film contract back when times were lean and its sad to see him here.
Super High Me- Its like Super Size Me but with grass instead of McDonalds. Man smokes weed for 30 days to see what happens, not much really but then that was sort of a given. I mean its okay but not great.
Chaplin-Now this was a good film with Robert Downey Jr in the title role and he rules it. I have seen some Chaplin films when I was a kid and I laughed heartily. This was a really good film and it is definitely worth a look.
What I have been doing with my time is playing one of three games which is weird because typically I play a game until my eyes bleed then I am done, going back and forth between 3 games is a bit of a novelty for me but its going well.
I'm playing Tiger Woods 2009 which is brilliant I played 2003 to death and bought 2006 on the recommendation of my ex girlfriend of all places but I just could not get into it as well it was too similar to 2003 and I could not be bothered attempting to get full stats again since it was an utter chore to do in 2003 . However sufficent time has passed plus I have a new console and therefore require a new golf game to play and its great. Minor flaw and its mainly me not the game is that i can not play it for sustained periods of time otherwise my concentration goes. This is a very good game to play in the morning when I'm avoiding Sky Sports News as Rangers got there 2nd 4-1 European humping in a row . No more football til Saturday.
Another game I'm playing is Batman: Arkham Asylum which was hyped to the rafters. It's kinda weird this game I do not really enjoy playing it but I keep persevering. I'm waiting for the moment I discover its greatness. I will say the more I play it the more I like it but for the most part I don't think its that great. Maybe it will become an addiction like smoking where you don't really want a fag but you need one. Batman is kinda like that .
Weird confession time Harley Quinn is the sexiest gaming character I have seen in a long time.
Mainly because sexy game characters are few and far between but also because she is completely loopy which I'm weirdly drawn too.
The final game I have been playing is Condemned. I bought this yonks back but never played it for very long as another game interfered but I was a massive fan of the sequel which was a new release at the time and came free with my X Box on purchase. This is a deeply frightening game, in my opinion not as scary as the 2nd but still really scarey. Last night was spent mainly slicing open mutant burn victims with the handle of a guillotine. This is my new favourite weapon as I like the sound it makes on contact with flesh. My previous favourite was the lead pipe as it was a good all round weapon, but the paper guillotine can be used very quickly which is handy plus the noise it makes it really gruesome. I'm not sick or anything but the game scares the shit out of me so I like to even things up when I have the chance. I shot a guy in the head last night and he shrugged it off and butchered me with a fire axe, it is really hard so you enjoy the little things where possible.
If you have no experience with the Condemned series and like being scared play it now. The fear levels surpass the first two Resident Evil games by some margin. These games are true survival horror.
The Invention of Lying-generally unfunny and kinda insulting at points
Underworld 3- Piss Poor. I should of known I mean Underworld 1 was good and 2 was alright but even then I watched them as a students and a lot of things back then seemed better than they actually were, for various reasons. However one thing what will always remain constant and brilliant about the first two films is Kate Beckinsdale in a pvc catsuit.
Point Proven
However Underworld 3 lacks Kate Beckinsdale and instead replaces her with Rhona Mitra the go to girl when Kate says no(or in this case cant do the film). She is pretty no doubt but she cant act at all as anyone who has seen Doomsday can attest. This film was a waste of time and a giant waste of Martin Sheen's acting prowess he must have signed a 3 film contract back when times were lean and its sad to see him here.
Super High Me- Its like Super Size Me but with grass instead of McDonalds. Man smokes weed for 30 days to see what happens, not much really but then that was sort of a given. I mean its okay but not great.
Chaplin-Now this was a good film with Robert Downey Jr in the title role and he rules it. I have seen some Chaplin films when I was a kid and I laughed heartily. This was a really good film and it is definitely worth a look.
What I have been doing with my time is playing one of three games which is weird because typically I play a game until my eyes bleed then I am done, going back and forth between 3 games is a bit of a novelty for me but its going well.
I'm playing Tiger Woods 2009 which is brilliant I played 2003 to death and bought 2006 on the recommendation of my ex girlfriend of all places but I just could not get into it as well it was too similar to 2003 and I could not be bothered attempting to get full stats again since it was an utter chore to do in 2003 . However sufficent time has passed plus I have a new console and therefore require a new golf game to play and its great. Minor flaw and its mainly me not the game is that i can not play it for sustained periods of time otherwise my concentration goes. This is a very good game to play in the morning when I'm avoiding Sky Sports News as Rangers got there 2nd 4-1 European humping in a row . No more football til Saturday.
Another game I'm playing is Batman: Arkham Asylum which was hyped to the rafters. It's kinda weird this game I do not really enjoy playing it but I keep persevering. I'm waiting for the moment I discover its greatness. I will say the more I play it the more I like it but for the most part I don't think its that great. Maybe it will become an addiction like smoking where you don't really want a fag but you need one. Batman is kinda like that .
Weird confession time Harley Quinn is the sexiest gaming character I have seen in a long time.
Mainly because sexy game characters are few and far between but also because she is completely loopy which I'm weirdly drawn too.
The final game I have been playing is Condemned. I bought this yonks back but never played it for very long as another game interfered but I was a massive fan of the sequel which was a new release at the time and came free with my X Box on purchase. This is a deeply frightening game, in my opinion not as scary as the 2nd but still really scarey. Last night was spent mainly slicing open mutant burn victims with the handle of a guillotine. This is my new favourite weapon as I like the sound it makes on contact with flesh. My previous favourite was the lead pipe as it was a good all round weapon, but the paper guillotine can be used very quickly which is handy plus the noise it makes it really gruesome. I'm not sick or anything but the game scares the shit out of me so I like to even things up when I have the chance. I shot a guy in the head last night and he shrugged it off and butchered me with a fire axe, it is really hard so you enjoy the little things where possible.
If you have no experience with the Condemned series and like being scared play it now. The fear levels surpass the first two Resident Evil games by some margin. These games are true survival horror.
Sunday, 11 October 2009
Fear and Self Loathing
Friday
On the road to Kaye's I had 2 bags of grass, 75 pellets of mescaline, 5 sheets of high powered blotter acid, wait actually that is a lie. However I did have 2 bottles of wine, 8 DVD's and half a pack of cigarettes, which is not as hardcore but it was good enough for me. Kaye was making me her signature dish and it would have been bad form to turn up without a bottle and it would be especially bad form to turn up with enough drugs to kill us both 4 times over.
Dinner as lovely and it always nice to have dinner prepared for you. We watched Shadow of The Vampire which was okay although I think I would have really enjoyed if we paid more attention as we nattered throughout. Then we watched Rabid which I quite enjoyed it was a bit different, but then again most of Cronenberg's films are.
Saturday
On Thursday I was invited to a stag do so I mainly chilled on Saturday afternoon , no coupon today as it was international week so I mainly played golf. There was an argument outside the pub on my street which is nothing unusual however this one took a turn for the worse. Some guy whacked another guy with a pool cue a few times while a bystander tried to shield the whackee. There was a woman with the whacker and she was loud but I'm not sure who she was shouting at. The disagreement seems to have come about over £40 as I all I could make out was
"Ya clungey bastard mumble mumble £40. "£40 ya clungey bastard mumble mumble"
One would normally assume that this argument was over a debt but I saw the cue wielding tosser and he did not look like he ever had £40 never mind had £40 to give away. This argument carried up the street where the whackee managed to get himself a shield of the street. The blows were always to the body and the shouting took ages to end. It certainly brightened up my afternoon.
I left at 6.30 to go to the stag do. At 7 I arrived at China Buffet King, to be fair it was alright but it gets worse everytime I go. After CBK we went to the Alea Casino at the Quay. Really nice casino by the way we all stuck £20 into a kitty and started off with a shot of Jagermeister, lovely stuff. 8 of us ended up getting a private poker table with a £10 buy in went out third or 4th i went in on two pairs and someone fluked a straight on the river. Still it was really good fun and £30 down including drink is my best ever at the casino. £90 down was my previous best. After the game ended we all jumped in a cab back into town, the guys were off to a strip club and I was heading home.
Later in the strip club we were all sitting round having a drink seeing the sites. I was doing well. I knocked back 3 or 4 strippers but apparently I caved and got a dance. I dont even remember it, I dont remember what she looked like her name or nothing it took me about 20 minutes this morning to remember I even had a dance. All I can recall is a pair of boobs being thrust in my face and her rubbing my raging hardon with her smooth leg vigoursly. I mean they were nice boobs small and pert but not the kind of chebs I would donate all my cash too but that is precisely what I did. I would not feel bad if I could remember it but I cant.
"No Sympathy for the Devil always bear that in mind. Buy the ticket take the ride." I have always loved and agreed with that statement but it is important to remember the ride otherwise you just end up with a ticket, a £55 ticket that says Entertainment. That and a dog eared fiver were all that greeted me in my wallet when I awoke this morning. I have no idea how or when I get home I think I walked as my jacket was soaking this morning was it raining last night?
Sunday
I woke in my room around 8 and immediatley regretted it. Jesus I felt bad hazy memories swirled around my head with a feeling of deep regret and sadness. Why I felt that way I did not yet know, but I was sure I would soon. Eventually I crawled out my pit into the shower where I remembered I got the dance. That explains the regret but why the sadness? That came when I checked my bank balance.
At this point I'd like to say it is a hard life but its not. It is a spectacuarly easy life, or at least it should be or even would be if I was not such a momentual fuck up at times. All my problems are generally self inflicted, thought like these weigh heavy on mind when I am hungover incapable of any activity whatsoever I should probably stop drinking but then what would I do?
Today has been a write off I have mainly stayed in bed. I nedded a good lie down after I came back from Iceland as I needed food. Eventually I summoned up enough energy to go the cinema. I planned on watching The Invention of Lying but the cinema was heaving and I was running late so I wandered around town until the queue died down and went to see Halloween 2, I've not seen the first one although I have seen the original film. It's not bad pretty gruesome, good sound effects during the killings. They are rather stomach churning or that could just be the hangover, I'm not sure.
That has been my weekend, Monday fast approcahes bringing a new week with new possibilties. I wonder how I will fuck them up too.
Peace out
Malky
On the road to Kaye's I had 2 bags of grass, 75 pellets of mescaline, 5 sheets of high powered blotter acid, wait actually that is a lie. However I did have 2 bottles of wine, 8 DVD's and half a pack of cigarettes, which is not as hardcore but it was good enough for me. Kaye was making me her signature dish and it would have been bad form to turn up without a bottle and it would be especially bad form to turn up with enough drugs to kill us both 4 times over.
Dinner as lovely and it always nice to have dinner prepared for you. We watched Shadow of The Vampire which was okay although I think I would have really enjoyed if we paid more attention as we nattered throughout. Then we watched Rabid which I quite enjoyed it was a bit different, but then again most of Cronenberg's films are.
Saturday
On Thursday I was invited to a stag do so I mainly chilled on Saturday afternoon , no coupon today as it was international week so I mainly played golf. There was an argument outside the pub on my street which is nothing unusual however this one took a turn for the worse. Some guy whacked another guy with a pool cue a few times while a bystander tried to shield the whackee. There was a woman with the whacker and she was loud but I'm not sure who she was shouting at. The disagreement seems to have come about over £40 as I all I could make out was
"Ya clungey bastard mumble mumble £40. "£40 ya clungey bastard mumble mumble"
One would normally assume that this argument was over a debt but I saw the cue wielding tosser and he did not look like he ever had £40 never mind had £40 to give away. This argument carried up the street where the whackee managed to get himself a shield of the street. The blows were always to the body and the shouting took ages to end. It certainly brightened up my afternoon.
I left at 6.30 to go to the stag do. At 7 I arrived at China Buffet King, to be fair it was alright but it gets worse everytime I go. After CBK we went to the Alea Casino at the Quay. Really nice casino by the way we all stuck £20 into a kitty and started off with a shot of Jagermeister, lovely stuff. 8 of us ended up getting a private poker table with a £10 buy in went out third or 4th i went in on two pairs and someone fluked a straight on the river. Still it was really good fun and £30 down including drink is my best ever at the casino. £90 down was my previous best. After the game ended we all jumped in a cab back into town, the guys were off to a strip club and I was heading home.
Later in the strip club we were all sitting round having a drink seeing the sites. I was doing well. I knocked back 3 or 4 strippers but apparently I caved and got a dance. I dont even remember it, I dont remember what she looked like her name or nothing it took me about 20 minutes this morning to remember I even had a dance. All I can recall is a pair of boobs being thrust in my face and her rubbing my raging hardon with her smooth leg vigoursly. I mean they were nice boobs small and pert but not the kind of chebs I would donate all my cash too but that is precisely what I did. I would not feel bad if I could remember it but I cant.
"No Sympathy for the Devil always bear that in mind. Buy the ticket take the ride." I have always loved and agreed with that statement but it is important to remember the ride otherwise you just end up with a ticket, a £55 ticket that says Entertainment. That and a dog eared fiver were all that greeted me in my wallet when I awoke this morning. I have no idea how or when I get home I think I walked as my jacket was soaking this morning was it raining last night?
Sunday
I woke in my room around 8 and immediatley regretted it. Jesus I felt bad hazy memories swirled around my head with a feeling of deep regret and sadness. Why I felt that way I did not yet know, but I was sure I would soon. Eventually I crawled out my pit into the shower where I remembered I got the dance. That explains the regret but why the sadness? That came when I checked my bank balance.
At this point I'd like to say it is a hard life but its not. It is a spectacuarly easy life, or at least it should be or even would be if I was not such a momentual fuck up at times. All my problems are generally self inflicted, thought like these weigh heavy on mind when I am hungover incapable of any activity whatsoever I should probably stop drinking but then what would I do?
Today has been a write off I have mainly stayed in bed. I nedded a good lie down after I came back from Iceland as I needed food. Eventually I summoned up enough energy to go the cinema. I planned on watching The Invention of Lying but the cinema was heaving and I was running late so I wandered around town until the queue died down and went to see Halloween 2, I've not seen the first one although I have seen the original film. It's not bad pretty gruesome, good sound effects during the killings. They are rather stomach churning or that could just be the hangover, I'm not sure.
That has been my weekend, Monday fast approcahes bringing a new week with new possibilties. I wonder how I will fuck them up too.
Peace out
Malky
Monday, 5 October 2009
Stuff I Have Watched
Been watching a lot of films recently so I thought write down my opinions.
500 Days of Summer- Good I rather enjoyed this romantic comedy taken from a guys perspective. It is really quite close to the bone at times but it is rather refreshing to see a film about a straightforward relationship that goes wrong instead of the usually cheesy pish about mad dashes to the airport etc.
The Surrogates- Bad and generally pointless
Hocus Pocus- I had not seen it since I've as 12 and it is okay to be fair, but you know a film is old when Sarah Jessica Parker plays the hot sister. It was a worthwhile film to watch while I rammed down some Chinese food and wine.
Candyman-Somehow this escaped me until now, it was a really good gothic horror that relies on suspense as well as some gore but nothing too over the top.The standard of acting was pretty decent which was good as poor acting is the downfall fo many a horror. I'm definitely going to check out the sequel now.
Gamer-the new film from the Crank guys (I love Crank), its not that great it has moments of humour and loads of over the top action which I expected but I think they were aiming for satire at points and it just did not work.
Pandorum- An almost good film it starts of as a quite good sci-fi horror, almost like The Descent in Space but the last 20 minutes are so poorly written and terrible it offended me. It annoys the piss out of me when a film ends poorly and Jesus this fucked up big time. I would rant more about this but it si not worth my time.
Species-Another film that elduded me until now, good cast and it is a decent wee film. Not the best film ever made but it works and it kept me entertained for 90 minutes which was the point of it. For a mid 90's it has surprisingly good CGI for its time too which was nice. I like sci-fi horror tand this is a good example of the genre unlike Pandorum.
Up next is Monster House and Amityviille Horror
500 Days of Summer- Good I rather enjoyed this romantic comedy taken from a guys perspective. It is really quite close to the bone at times but it is rather refreshing to see a film about a straightforward relationship that goes wrong instead of the usually cheesy pish about mad dashes to the airport etc.
The Surrogates- Bad and generally pointless
Hocus Pocus- I had not seen it since I've as 12 and it is okay to be fair, but you know a film is old when Sarah Jessica Parker plays the hot sister. It was a worthwhile film to watch while I rammed down some Chinese food and wine.
Candyman-Somehow this escaped me until now, it was a really good gothic horror that relies on suspense as well as some gore but nothing too over the top.The standard of acting was pretty decent which was good as poor acting is the downfall fo many a horror. I'm definitely going to check out the sequel now.
Gamer-the new film from the Crank guys (I love Crank), its not that great it has moments of humour and loads of over the top action which I expected but I think they were aiming for satire at points and it just did not work.
Pandorum- An almost good film it starts of as a quite good sci-fi horror, almost like The Descent in Space but the last 20 minutes are so poorly written and terrible it offended me. It annoys the piss out of me when a film ends poorly and Jesus this fucked up big time. I would rant more about this but it si not worth my time.
Species-Another film that elduded me until now, good cast and it is a decent wee film. Not the best film ever made but it works and it kept me entertained for 90 minutes which was the point of it. For a mid 90's it has surprisingly good CGI for its time too which was nice. I like sci-fi horror tand this is a good example of the genre unlike Pandorum.
Up next is Monster House and Amityviille Horror
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