Calm Before The Storm

Things have been rather quiet in Malkyland of late partly because of my stag do antics and partly because I have been laid up with the cold. I have not really been watching too many movies either, and the ones of I have watched have been kinda poor for the most part.

The Invention of Lying-generally unfunny and kinda insulting at points

Underworld 3- Piss Poor. I should of known I mean Underworld 1 was good and 2 was alright but even then I watched them as a students and a lot of things back then seemed better than they actually were, for various reasons. However one thing what will always remain constant and brilliant about the first two films is Kate Beckinsdale in a pvc catsuit.


Point Proven

However Underworld 3 lacks Kate Beckinsdale and instead replaces her with Rhona Mitra the go to girl when Kate says no(or in this case cant do the film). She is pretty no doubt but she cant act at all as anyone who has seen Doomsday can attest. This film was a waste of time and a giant waste of Martin Sheen's acting prowess he must have signed a 3 film contract back when times were lean and its sad to see him here.

Super High Me- Its like Super Size Me but with grass instead of McDonalds. Man smokes weed for 30 days to see what happens, not much really but then that was sort of a given. I mean its okay but not great.

Chaplin-Now this was a good film with Robert Downey Jr in the title role and he rules it. I have seen some Chaplin films when I was a kid and I laughed heartily. This was a really good film and it is definitely worth a look.

What I have been doing with my time is playing one of three games which is weird because typically I play a game until my eyes bleed then I am done, going back and forth between 3 games is a bit of a novelty for me but its going well.

I'm playing Tiger Woods 2009 which is brilliant I played 2003 to death and bought 2006 on the recommendation of my ex girlfriend of all places but I just could not get into it as well it was too similar to 2003 and I could not be bothered attempting to get full stats again since it was an utter chore to do in 2003 . However sufficent time has passed plus I have a new console and therefore require a new golf game to play and its great. Minor flaw and its mainly me not the game is that i can not play it for sustained periods of time otherwise my concentration goes. This is a very good game to play in the morning when I'm avoiding Sky Sports News as Rangers got there 2nd 4-1 European humping in a row . No more football til Saturday.

Another game I'm playing is Batman: Arkham Asylum which was hyped to the rafters. It's kinda weird this game I do not really enjoy playing it but I keep persevering. I'm waiting for the moment I discover its greatness. I will say the more I play it the more I like it but for the most part I don't think its that great. Maybe it will become an addiction like smoking where you don't really want a fag but you need one. Batman is kinda like that .

Weird confession time Harley Quinn is the sexiest gaming character I have seen in a long time.



Mainly because sexy game characters are few and far between but also because she is completely loopy which I'm weirdly drawn too.

The final game I have been playing is Condemned. I bought this yonks back but never played it for very long as another game interfered but I was a massive fan of the sequel which was a new release at the time and came free with my X Box on purchase. This is a deeply frightening game, in my opinion not as scary as the 2nd but still really scarey. Last night was spent mainly slicing open mutant burn victims with the handle of a guillotine. This is my new favourite weapon as I like the sound it makes on contact with flesh. My previous favourite was the lead pipe as it was a good all round weapon, but the paper guillotine can be used very quickly which is handy plus the noise it makes it really gruesome. I'm not sick or anything but the game scares the shit out of me so I like to even things up when I have the chance. I shot a guy in the head last night and he shrugged it off and butchered me with a fire axe, it is really hard so you enjoy the little things where possible.

If you have no experience with the Condemned series and like being scared play it now. The fear levels surpass the first two Resident Evil games by some margin. These games are true survival horror.